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“As God is my witness, I didn’t know turkeys couldn’t fly.” So goes the famous line from the “WKRP” episode that featured the Thanksgiving turkey drop. Well, fresh off last week’s slaughter of the turkeys, which saw the little-team-that-could decapitate all of the Borg bars in the country, comes another opportunity to slay more turkeys. The team assembled nearly full force, with a carnivorous gleam in their eyes. Could we repeat another Top 10 killing?
Worn-up Round
1. The city of Ercis was hit by a 7.4 earthquake in __ last month: TURKEY {A rather nice post-Thanksgiving coincidence for a first answer.} 2. A caparison is a covering laid over a/an: ANIMAL. 3. Activist and writer Emma Goldman was of this political persuasion: ANARCHIST. 4. As larvae, they are flat and transparent: EELS. {…a transparent ploy to knock us down.} 5. The limbus is the junction between the sclera and the __ of the eyeball: CORNEA. 6. What comedy writer is this year’s winner of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor? WILL FERRELL. {Geeze, talk about your turkey elevated to the height of Eagles. Sheesh.} 7. The heir to the __ throne died in late October 2011: SAUDI. 8. Diffidence is: SHYNESS. {We might not have missed this one had the only person with a clue not been too shy to speak up.} 9. Nell Gwynn, one of England’s first actresses, was the mistress of: KING CHARLES II. 10. Africa’s most feared snake, its venom can kill a human in four hours: BLACK MAMBA. {Huh, let’s see how it does against Honey Badger.}
That round went pretty well, with the team eviscerating all but two of the BUZZARDS offerings. It is time to grind up some of the leftover giblets for some green chile turkey hash. Send us some more cooked turkey, BUZZHEADS.
Ground-down Round
1. Natural philosopher, Joseph Priestly, helped found this type of Christianity: UNITARIANISM. 2. To guy someone is to subject him to: RIDICULE. {Hey turkey, your wattle sucks.} 3. Cosima Wagner, the wife of Richard Wagner, was the daughter of this composer: FRANZ LISZT. 4. Computer pioneer John McCarthy is credited with coining this phrase: ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE. 5. Former __ director Rajat Gupta has been charged with fraud in an insider trading case: GOLDMAN SACHS. 6. The ibis scorcher is the name of a rare and treasured: BICYCLE. {We fry turkeys, you can scorch your ibis if it makes you happy.} 7. This month marks the 20th anniversary of the release of this classic rock album: ACHTUNG BABY. 8. Sociologist Talcott Parsons developed this theory for the study of society: ACTION THEORY. {We’d like to grind the giblets of the turkey who wrote that query.} 9. Once believed lost, “Exorcism” is the title of a newly published play by: EUGENE O’NEILL. {We performed a 5-way exorcism of that turkey.} 10. The pistachio tree originated in this region: MIDDLE EAST. 11. In North America, the wapiti is more commonly known as the: ELK. 12. The guard, the grip and the pommel make up the __ of a sword: HILT.
Grinding up gizzards, hearts and livers was fun in that round, but the BUZZARDS ground OUR livers on Q’s 5, 8, and 9. That small set-back will not be enough to prevent our firing up the deep fat fryer for some BUZZARD dinner tonight. The team is talking turkey well, and most of the questions are gravy tonight. Now let’s see how the tips we got from the BUZZ-ball hotline help us out in the:
Scatological Round
1. Renaissance science v U.S. CURRENCY
The legal tender act of __ authorized the U.S. Govt. to issue paper money: 1862. {Well, all of the button-pusher’s prior research on who’s on the face of the larger bills came to naught on this hard bill.}
2. Geography v HUMAN ANATOMY
It accounts for almost 15% of a human’s total body weight: SKIN {Got it.}
3. HISTORY v pop songs
King Gustav II Adolf headed the golden age of: SWEDEN {Got it. How Swede it was.}
4. HUMAN ANATOMY v renaissance science
The macula is a small area of the human: RETINA {Yup.}
5. POP SONGS v geography
This song by George Harrison is on the Abbey Road album: HERE COMES THE SUN {CHILL was the light of our team here.}
6. US currency v HISTORY
The Eighty Years’ War is also known as the __ war of independence: DUTCH {At least we were able to avoid the tyranny of the button pushers, and vote in the category where we have real expertise.}
Although the BUZZARDS par-boiled our huevos on the first “easily researchable” question, we were able to regroup on the last five. Now it is time to flash our lightning quick knives on whatever leftover turkeys the BUZZHEADS have set aside for us in the:
Frightening Round
1. It is a hydrous phosphate of copper and aluminum: TURQUOISE. 2. The tonsure is a hairstyle worn by: MEDIEVAL MONKS. {Tonsure = BLZBUB’s bald spot.} 3. Ayesha is the main female character in this adventure novel: SHE {Is she the girl with the Haggard expression?} 4. This type of pizza features sauce and cheese with no toppings: MARGARITA. 5. Which dog is the tallest: IRISH WOLFHOUND. 6. Samhain is a __ holiday widely regarded as the ancestor of Halloween: CELTIC. 7. The “Dark Lady” sonnets were written by: WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.
For once in a blue moon, the team was able to scarf down all of these (unlike CHILL’s chestnut and oyster dressing) without regurgitating anything but facts. Now for the true antacid test:
Pumpkin Pie-ram-it Round
P1. The late James Hillman was an influential proponent of this school of philosophy: JUNGIAN {5-way split on the pie.}
P2. Bodega Bay and Fort Ross were sites of __ settlements in 19th Century California: RUSSIAN. {BLZBUB, channeling his inner bird, with a nod to Hitchcock, gobbled this down.}
P3. The Jagagua Sphaero is one of the world’s smallest: REPTILES {which never make a good T-day dish, but did call for a 5-way.}
P4. The Tuareg people live here: AFRICA {Easy enough.}
P5. The early hominid genus Ardipithecus is divided into these two species: RAMIDUS – KADABBA. {We were 5-way split on which topping to put on the pie.}
As usual, the Pie-ram-it Round left us with indigestion. Thankfully, with a solid two of five as a base, the 5-way splits on the other three questions left us with a workable 3 of 5 on enough boxes for the round. Hey is any one up for seconds on dessert?
FINAL TRAGEDY, on the Topic of FRENCH (silk) WRITERS
Which French writer was a 16th Century essayist:
MICHELE DE MONTAIGNE
Yum, tasty. It went well with a DUFF beer. Nice call.
The top six machines were spread out from 50 to 45 thousand. They were 50475, 49361, 46473, 45697, 45495, and 45431. This yielded a yearning for more pie, and it also gave us a team average on 47,155 points. This left us to chew on the prospects of an out-of-the-Top 20 finish. In the end, we were gob(bler)smacked to see the team in FIFTH Place for this game.
The really odd thing about this finish was that it was the same ranking as we had last week, but our score was 4440 points lower for this game than last week’s game. I guess that’s what happens when you buy that BUZZERball Turkey.
Congrats to the Fellowship, End Zone and Danny K’s. (Does anyone have a read on Diamond Lil’s as non-Borg?) Only the top two finished above 50,000 points. Well played!
_________________
}}}--( (x) (x) )--->
Oh my gawd, they killed
Ken Z.
You bastards!
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