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BLZBUB wonders if the NSA is tracking and recording the messages on the SCARatings site. What would they make of this marvelous agglomeration of facts, speculation, kvetching and carping?
Worn-up Round
1. From 1966 to 1976, this country underwent a forced “Cultural Revolution”: CHINA. 2. Formerly known as manic depression, this mood disorder is now known as: BIPOLAR DISORDER. 3. Jimmy Wales was the founder of this internet phenomenon: WIKIPEDIA. 4. The bonobo was formerly called the pygmy: CHIMPANZEE. 5. Stephen Davis’ “Hammer of the Gods” is an unauthorized biography of: LED ZEPPELIN. 6. A legal document offering securities or mutual fund shares for sale is a/an: PROSPECTUS. 7. Which clothes designer created the iconic wrap dress: DIANE VON FURSTENBERG. 8. Novo Nordisk is a Danish company that produces and markets: PHARMACEUTICALS. 9. Corms, rhizomes and ___ are food storage organs of plants during dormancy: BULBS. 10. In the U.S., a permanent resident card is called a ___ card: GREEN.
The team ran through this round unscathed.
BLZBUB says
^~@# !$##%[$ @# % ^?^%” ~?%}
^~@# @# {&#^ % #@!)”$
#&*#^@^&^@?\ (?<$ >?+ ^~$
)&+)?#$ ?> ^~@# +$(%)
Ground-down Round
1. 1936’s “We the Living” is an anti-communist novel by: AYN RAND. 2. The Bessemer process is used to make steel from: PIG IRON. 3. The 1821 transportation route that began in Franklin, Missouri, ended in: SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO. [Was it actually called New Mexico in 1821, or just Mexico?] 4. A musical instrument, the pipa is also called the ___ lute: CHINESE. [Ack, our first 5-way of the night.] 5. In today’s England, a grange is a: SMALL COUNTRY HOUSE. 6. To date, Julia Gillard has been the only woman Prime Minister of: AUSTRALIA. 7. John Wesley Hardin was a notorious: WESTERN OUTLAW. 8. The Quagga is an extinct subspecies of this animal: ZEBRA. 9. It was established in a 1954 bill signed by President Dwight B. Eisenhower: U.S. AIR FORCE ACADEMY. 10. The Penguin Group Publishing Company recently merged with: RANDOM HOUSE. 11. Finally approved by the FDA, Qsymia is a/an ___ drug: WEIGHT LOSS. 12. Which 1960’s figure popularized the phrase, “Turn On, Tune In and Drop Out”? TIMOTHY LEARY.
The team was forced into a 5-way split on GD #5. There was also a delay before the call was made for USAFA on GD9 and Random House on #10.
Somewhere in Fort Meade, MD, a red light begins to flash. A staff officer turns to his shift supervisor and says, “Sir, we have an alert. There is a coded message coming up on that suspected, subversive site called SCARatings.”
“What?” says the supervisor, “let me see that.”
Scatology Round
1. Royal Residences v FILM DOCUMENTARIANS
Robert Flaherty directed this first commercially successful documentary: NANOOK OF THE NORTH. [DUFF dusted off his mukluks long early enough to get this.]
2. Folklore v FAMOUS SHIPS
Captain James Cook commanded this ship on his first voyage of discovery: ENDEAVOUR. [BLZBUB beat history-boy to the rum barrel here.]
3. 2013 SPORTS v big bidnezz
In the Finals of the 2013 Confederation Cup, Brazil’s soccer team defeated: SPAIN. [KURGAN, originally called Italy, but corrected himself in time to save us about 60% of the points on this one.]
4. FAMOUS SHIPS v royal residences
The HMS Victory was the flagship of this naval hero: HORATIO NELSON. [CHILL probably beat everyone to the powder room on this one.]
5. Big budnezz v FOLKLORE
In the legend of Saint George, he is a Roman soldier who slays a: DRAGON. [Chorus]
6. Film documentarians v 2013 SPORTS
Which sports honor did P.K. Subban win in 2013? NORRIS TROPHY. [KURGAN shoots and scores.]
The team went 5 for 6, with a missed head pass on #3.
The supervisor at NSA orders, “Get me a team of my best code breakers. Get them on this message, pronto. Fire up DEEP BLUE and MAXIMUM ULTRA if you need to get it cracked.”
Frightening Round
1. Gru is the central character in this animated movie series: DESPICABLE ME. 2. Pickett’s Charge was a part of the Battle of: GETTYSBURG. 3. 2013 marked the first time ___ hosted the opening stages of the Tour de France: CORSICA. 4. Oxycodone is a semi-synthetic: OPIOID. 5. Africa’s ___ frog is the world’s largest frog: GOLIATH. [Let the record show that BLZBUB got a g-d-p-f-v animules question, for once in his life.] 6. Chirology is also called: PALM READING. [Skeptical Inquirer, CHILL, is glad they finally asked a “science” question in this game.] 7. Which world leader was ousted last month by a coup: MOHAMMED MORSI.
The team went 7 for 7 correct, which is a bit unusually good, recently.
The code breaking team reports back that although they are making progress on the coded message, it seems to be of little consequence. The NSA super then says, “I just know there’s a subversive cell operating here. Just look at all of these random questions and answers. Surely there’s some info for a terrorist group embedded within that stream of data. Look harder and get back to me on that.”
Py-ram-it Round
P1. In United States history, Horace Mann figures as a major:
EDUCATION REFORMER. [DUFF suggested the answer in a pre-call.]
P2. The son of Alphaeus, he collected taxes prior to becoming one of the 12 disciples of Jesus: MATTHEW. [CHILL, who knew the man personally, made this call.]
P3. “Journey to the West” is one of the four great classical novels of ___ literature:
CHINESE. [Our luck ran out, and so did time for all but the 5-way boxes.]
P4. MERS is the name of a potentally (sic) dangerous:
CORONAVIRUS. [Although Buzzie misspelled “potentially”, we got this answer from Tom at the HEBEGB table without delay.]
P5. Fifty years ago, Kenneth Minogue presented a classic analysis of:
THE LIBERAL MIND. [We stuck hard and fast to our 5-way splits here, even though some people were on the right track to the correct answer.]
The two splits from this round put 8 of our boxes on 4 of 5 correct for the round.
A pair of code breakers thunder down the hall and burst into the super’s office.
CB1: “Sir, sir! We have a breakthrough…” CB2 interrupts, “We’ve identified an operative, code-name BLZBUB who is definitely tied to a clandestine group on the internet called SCARatings. They are behind this whole exchange of messages and an information exchange to further their nefarious goal to undermine the dumbing-down of the U.S. citizenry.” CB1 adds, “There’s an organization out in Carlsbad, CA that calls itself BUZZTIME. It is the dead-drop for all of these questions and answers.”
FINAL TRAGEDY, on the Topic of: PRESIDENTIAL CABINETS
Hamilton Fish, William Richardson and Alphonso Taft served as cabinet ministers for:
1. Ulysses S. Grant
2. Richard Nixon
3. James Polk
4. Theodore Roosevelt
5. Herbert Hoover
The order of the eliminations was 3, 4, 5 and 2, leaving #1, ULYSSES S. GRANT, as the correct answer. This was a bit disconcerting as the team went all-in on Teddy. In the chaos, nobody could conjure a correct response until about 80% of the points were gone. Luckily, enough players stayed on their 5-way assignments to save us from complete destruction of our score.
The ragged rascals scored 40468, 40468 (again), 39864, 39334, 39311 and 39267 points. The team average weighed in at 39,782 points. This looked like it could be a disastrous ranking, so the team was relieved to see itself at EIGHTH for the Mt/Pac Zone of play…six places above our cross-town rivals. The Floatation Device again rose to the top in our region. Congrats to them. TorryPines, Le Chateau and CKS Tavern also acquitted themselves well.
The NSA super barks out, “Get me a strike team! I need to move on this tonight!”
Later that night a home invasion takes place. First there’s a loud bang on the door, followed by breaking glass and the smell of a smoke grenade. The second bang on the door breaches it, followed by the sound of barking dogs and yelling men.
BLZBUB whispers, “Shit! I may not have time to finish this reca…”
WNN News Flash: Dateline Baku, Azerbaijan. The fugitive identified only as BLZBUB has surfaced in this distant land. He is reported to be holed up in the embassy of the Republic of Sloborbia, requesting asylum. Additional details will be provided as they become available.
Code-break Hint:
# = s
? = o
~ = h
_________________
}}}--( (x) (x) )--->
Oh my gawd, they killed
Ken Z.
You bastards!
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