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 Post subject: The Advice Columnist
PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 11:49 pm 
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Lotsa Posta

Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2016 9:33 am
Posts: 710
Dear Miss Krispy:

I played three games this evening, Countdown, Brainbuster, and Showdown. I exceeded my game play average in all three quizzes. And yet I feel so unfulfilled. My friend John hangs out on Tuesday night with his more glamorous friends and actually gets paid to answer trivia questions. The Golden Horde collects as much bling as the entire stable of Death Row rap gangsters. And things aren't any better at home. My roommates show me no respect. They shit in the corners and chew through the wiring, and when they're not doing those things, they behave very badly indeed. I just feel so scrawny and inadequate. What can I do differently?

Lonely in Mouse Hollow


Miss Krispy replies:

Lonely, you need to spice up your love life. I'd recommend a date with Mother Teresa, but she's dead. Still, there are plenty of single women out there who would love a man who not only cooks dinner but does the dishes as well. All of them have baggage, but most are not anorexic.

As for your roommates, I would set traps, and lots of them. The fact is, Lonely, you've let them take over your life. You need to look in the mirror, and recognize that you've been an enabler, when you should be proactively nurturing yourself. A serious professional could help you confront the obstacles to your happiness, and in your crummy neighborhood, you shouldn't need to pay more than $100/hr for the advice.

Most of all, you need to reconsider your perspective. Just think of all those players who couldn't identify the central character in Chekhov's "The Cherry Orchard," as Madame Ranevskaya. They flat-lined on Final Showdown, and now they're all contemplating suicide, if they haven't squeezed the trigger already. It's important to recognize that you have at least one more week before this happens to you. It's up to you to make the most of it!


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