New Scaratings

It's time for the 7th inning stretch. Everyone stand up, and loosen up for a couple minutes. Here comes a baseball joke.

Frank and Bill were best friends, who grew up next door to each other. They both played YMCA Tee Ball on the same team. When they moved on to Little League, they were on the same team again. Bill played catcher, and Frank pitched. Later on they still remained together on Babe Ruth and high school baseball teams, with Bill behind the plate and Frank on the mound. After high school, they were both recruited to play for the same college. Unfortunately, the Frank and Bill battery didn't make it to the big leagues after college. However, they did play in city softball leagues together, with Bill catching Frank's pitches, until old age sent them both to the same nursing home. As they sat in their rocking chairs one day, they made a pact. They promised each other, whoever died first would attempt to contact the survivor, and tell him what it was like in Heaven.

Bill was the first to kick the bucket, and about a week later, Frank was awoken from his sleep by Bill's voice.

"Frank, it's Bill and I'm talking to you from Heaven."

"Bill, tell me what it's like there."

"Frank, It's great. However, I've got some good news, and some bad news for you."

"Bill, give me the good news first."

"Frank, Heaven has baseball. We play ball everyday, and there are a lot of great players up here."

"Sounds wonderful Bill, now give me the bad news."

"Frank, are you sitting down? I just saw tomorrow's line up, and you're the starting pitcher..."

_________________
"The game is afoot."

I put a couple baseball quotes from George Scott and about Luis Tiant up on this thread. I've got a lot more, but I would love to hear yours first. Let's hear them. Once again you can't be wrong, unless you start talking about hockey, soccer, etc. This is wide open, without restrictive rules, as long as it's about baseball, said about baseball or players, or uttered by players.

Here's a picture clue for someone to come up with a good start.



p.s. Yogi Berra might give you more than a few.



p.p.s. Baseball announcer and writer quotes are fine too.



p.p.p.s. Don't kill everyone else from the start. I think three per post sounds fair. You can always come back with more later.

p.p.p.p.s. Don't let me get a head start on you. I'll wait a bit, but the fray has begun...

_________________
"The game is afoot."

You're damn right, Fernando was another pitcher, who could hit. Chalk another one up for the anti-designated hitter boys.



p.s. I was watching the game on TV, when Valenzuela was injured. I don't think that he ever truly recovered from it, and it pretty much ended his career.

_________________
"The game is afoot."

Simon and Garfunkel have a question...

Where have you gone Joe Dimaggio?

_________________
"The game is afoot."

[quote="Cloudy"]I put a couple baseball quotes from George Scott and about Luis Tiant up on this thread. I've got a lot more, but I would love to hear yours first. Let's hear them. Once again you can't be wrong, unless you start talking about hockey, soccer, etc. This is wide open, without restrictive rules, as long as it's about baseball, said about baseball or players, or uttered by players.



Here's one of my favorites, but it was made by a reporter, not a player. I believe it was Scott Ostler, but dont hold me to that. He was describing Dave Kingman's diving attempt at a fly ball in the outfield and wrote that it resembled "an empty paint can being thrown from an automobile at 60 miles per hour".

On a more painful note: My beloved Twins, after years of being at or near the top of the AMerican league Central have been officiallly granted the title of worst team in baseball this season. No pitching, no hitting, a long list of injuries all add up to a long season. Let the fire sale and prospect acquisition begin.

Also Harmon Killebrew has ceased treatment for esphageal cancer and has entered hospice care. A sad time indeed.......

Other than the Pirate Parrot, has any other baseball mascot been arrested for selling drugs to his/its team's players?

Arrested... not that I know of, but you'll never get me to believe that the Philly Phanatic isn't on something.

I love the "An empty paint can..." quote. That is exactly the type of thing I was hoping to hear.

We need to get more baseball quotes like this up here. Once we get enough of them, I think we will need to approach the Baseball Hall of Fame, and see if we can get them to give us a room in Cooperstown for baseball quotes that need to be preserved before they are lost to time.

Keep them coming guys. At first I thought that the obvious stuff was the way to go, but after reading DCHCNB's post, I'm thinking maybe going with the obscure stuff might be better.

p.s. Go ahead and throw the obvious stuff up here also, such as Leo Durocher's "Nice guys finish last." quote that I hinted at in the beginning, but keep those obscure ones coming too.

_________________
"The game is afoot."

TIEFLY, if it's not to late, this is the time to try out for being the Pirate Parrot mascot. I've got an extra large parrot costume in the attic, that I would be more than glad to loan to you. If you get picked, and don't get arrested for selling drugs, you may keep the costume for as long as you want.

p.s. Assuming you get the job, can you get me some autographs...?

_________________
"The game is afoot."

Well, it doesn't look like we are going to convince the Baseball Hall of Fame to give us our own room in Cooperstown, with either famous or obscure baseball quotes.

Hell, I was hoping to hear stuff like this:

When Yogi Berra was managing the Mets, Tom Seaver came up to him, and asked him what the time was. Yogi, replied, "Do you mean now?"

(That Yogi quote is Not a joke.)

................

_________________
"The game is afoot."

Ok, will try a couple more. These are reasonably well known I believe, but Ive always found them humorous:

- Baseball executive ( I dont recall which one) - "The fans like to see home runs, and we have assembled a pitching staff for their enjoyment".


- SPortswriter Dave Kindred writing about former Brewers GM Harry Dalton - "The evidence suggests he couldnt pick Babe Ruth out of a lineup with Alice Cooper, Billy Carter and Morris, the finicky cat".

I love the fact that Dock Ellis not only threw a no-hitter on acid, but claimed to have taken "pep pills" before a game against the Reds, where he hit the first three hitters, missed hitting but walked the clean up hitter, then beaned Johnny Bench and hit the next guy before being yanked by the Pirates manager.

EGADS!!!

Spahn and Sain and pray for rain.

"Pray for rain" Spahn's teammate Johnny Sain was the ace of the pennant-winning 1948 Braves staff, with a win-loss record of 24–15. Spahn went 15–12 while, contrary to legend, teammates Bill Voiselle (13–13), and Vern Bickford (11–5) also pitched well.

In honor of the pitching duo, Boston Post sports editor Gerald V. Hern wrote this poem which the popular media eventually condensed to "Spahn and Sain and Pray for Rain":

First we'll use Spahn
then we'll use Sain
Then an off day
followed by rain
Back will come Spahn
followed by Sain
And followed
we hope
by two days of rain.

The poem was inspired by the performance of Spahn and Sain during the Braves' 1948 pennant drive. The team swept a Labor Day doubleheader, with Spahn throwing a complete 14-inning win in the opener, and Sain pitching a shutout in the second game. Following two off days, it did rain. Spahn won the next day, and Sain won the day after that. Three days later, Spahn won again. Sain won the next day. After one more off day, the two pitchers were brought back, and won another doubleheader. The two pitchers had gone 8–0 in 12 days' time.

(Thank you "Wikipedia".)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warren_Spahn

.............................

_________________
"The game is afoot."

I'll see your duo and raise you a trio...

These are the saddest of possible words:
"Tinker to Evers to Chance."
Trio of bear cubs, and fleeter than birds,
Tinker and Evers and Chance.
Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble,
Making a Giant hit into a double –
Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:
"Tinker to Evers to Chance."

A side note: Gonfalon Bubble has been my team name for live trivia events in Indy on many an occasion. Not one person at those various events has, as yet, remarked accurately as to its origin. People just don't know their classics like they used to...

Ummm, wellllllll... I remember the first line.

_________________

/```\
(o\_!_/o)

You beat me to it, but this is true baseball poetry.

Sadly, one guy got left out of the poem. He was on his way to obscure nothingness as the years went by, while his name was seldom mentioned. That is until Bert Randolph Sugar's, "Who Was Harry Steinfeldt?" baseball trivia book came out in 1976, and used Harry's name for the title. Harry Steinfeldt was the 3rd baseman for the Cubs from 1906 to 1910, and completed the Tinker, Evers, and Chance infield.

..............................................

Here is a cover shot of Bert Randolph Sugar's baseball trivia book, "Who Was Harry Steinfeldt?..."

...................................................

p.s. You can pick this book up in paperback pretty much everywhere for less than $2.00. If you are a baseball aficionado, you should add this book to your library.

_________________
"The game is afoot."

Even though I'm not a fan of Barry Bonds, (due to his inability to throw out Sid Bream, not due to his steroid-induced Looper-sized melon) I just read something interesting.

Bonds stated that he is willing to pay for the college tuition for the children of the fan (Stow?) that was beaten after the Giants/Dodger game to start the season. Maybe he was just following the lead of Lincecum's donation, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt...on this.

Good for Barry... Hell, he can afford it.

_________________
"The game is afoot."

Wee Willie Keeler's great baseball quote, "Hit 'em where they ain't." was actually a tiny bit longer. His full advice to batters was "Keep your eye clear, and hit 'em where they ain't."

p.s. If you can believe the tobacco card picture, it looks like "Wee Willie" choaked up a long way on the bat.

_________________
"The game is afoot."

That tobacco card should be spot on.
Supposedly, Keeler was one of the most capable bunters in baseball history. He would also hit the ball as hard as possible into the ground in the hope that the time that it took the ball to come down to a fielder would allow him to beat the throw to first. Since this was a common practice by him and his Baltimore Orioles team mates in the 1890s, it became known as the "Baltimore chop". They were also one of the first teams to use the hit-and-run.
That team was pretty baseball savvy.
Of course, they probably should be. They had three future HOF managers playing on that squad: John McGraw, Wilbert Robinson and Hughie jennings.



I've had that book for about thirty years now. But a good tip, nonetheless.
That title is much catchier than Who's Heinie Zimmerman? , BTW.

Can't Google the quote, but I think I'm right or pretty close. What Hall of Famer once said, "There's no defense against the homerun."?

_________________
"The game is afoot."

The answer to my question is Ted Williams.

After Williams had to face the Boudreau shift, he was asked what he would do against this defense that put most of the fielders on the right side of the field, where Ted usually hit the ball.

I believe Ted's answer was, "There is no defense against the home run."



p.s. Here's a trivia question for you guys. What baseball player did Lou Boudreau's daughter marry?

_________________
"The game is afoot."

I need some help on two baseball announcer quotes that I can only vaguely remember.

One said something like "Open the door Millie" or something like that.

I think the other one said something about letting the goat out.

Anyone got a clue?

_________________
"The game is afoot."

Here's a two part baseball quote trivia question.

What baseball announcer would say, "The Moose is loose." when a certain player hit a homerun, and who was the player?

_________________
"The game is afoot."

Rosey Rowswell of the Pirates would say "Open the window, Aunt Minnie! Here it comes" when a Pirate hit a homer at Forbes Field.

Don't know about the goat - it might have something to do with the Billy Goat Curse?