The English Language

Cloudy · **Joined:** Tue Jan 12, 2010 4:30 am **Posts:** 5277

The English language seems to be drifting away from rules that most of us learned a long time ago. Now we have conjunctions, such as "and" and "but", starting sentences written by newspaper people, and they get away with ending sentences with prepositions, such as "at".

I know I goof up a lot, but I'm not writing for the New York Times.

Sometimes it is difficult to write around the rules that you do not begin a sentence with a conjunction or end it with a preposition, but it can be done. Most of those, whom I have read on this web site, are very good writers. It is frightening that a bunch of drunks posting late into the night, know the English language better than sober English majors, who write for newspapers these days.

p.s. Misplacement of conjunctions and prepositions are just the beginning of things that upset me about where the English language seems to be going.

Akbar71 · **Posted:** Fri Apr 29, 2011 1:51 am

Cloudy wrote:

The English language seems to be drifting away from rules that most of us learned a long time ago. Now we have conjunctions, such as "and" and "but", starting sentences written by newspaper people, and they get away with ending sentences with prepositions, such as "at".

And this is exactly the sort of stuff which those of us who care about English shouldn't have to put up with!

Cloudy · **Joined:** Tue Jan 12, 2010 4:30 am **Posts:** 5277

Akbar71 wrote:

Cloudy wrote:

The English language seems to be drifting away from rules that most of us learned a long time ago. Now we have conjunctions, such as "and" and "but", starting sentences written by newspaper people, and they get away with ending sentences with prepositions, such as "at".

And this is exactly the sort of stuff which those of us who care about English shouldn't have to put up with!

But, AKBAR, hopefully me and you ain't alone looking for where the English language is at. :lol:

(This is a four year old belated edit. The "at" AKBAR is referring to, that was at the end of my last sentence was within quotes to make it clear that I was treating it as a word, and not using it as a preposition.)

ANON · **Joined:** Sun Jan 10, 2010 8:59 pm **Posts:** 2230

Cloudy wrote:

But, AKBAR, hopefully me and you ain't alone looking for where the English language is at. :lol:

I agree--let's get back to REAL English, starting right here on this board: Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum,
þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon, hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon. Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum, monegum mægþum, meodosetla ofteah, egsode eorlas.

Riht, Genipfull?

liljol · **Joined:** Sun Jan 10, 2010 8:41 pm **Posts:** 2497

Hells bells. IMO one of the most godawful, horrible, grievous, inexcusable written grammatical bunglings is could/should of instead of have; never mind that of and have sound similar when spoken. :roll:

pengwn · **Posted:** Fri Apr 29, 2011 12:56 pm

Cloudy wrote:

The English language seems to be drifting away from rules that most of us learned a long time ago. Now we have conjunctions, such as "and" and "but", starting sentences written by newspaper people, and they get away with ending sentences with prepositions, such as "at".

I know I goof up a lot, but I'm not writing for the New York Times.

Sometimes it is difficult to write around the rules that you do not begin a sentence with a conjunction or end it with a preposition, but it can be done. Most of those. whom I have read on this web site, are very good writers. It is frightening that a bunch of drunks posting late into the night, know the English language better than sober English majors, who write for newspapers these days.

p.s. Misplacement of conjunctions and prepositions are just the beginning of things that upset me about where the English language seems to be going.

Fo' shizzle, dawg! your so rite, u realy hit da nail on the hed!!!!11111

(cue Cloudy's heart attack)

Bonzo · **Joined:** Wed Jan 13, 2010 2:18 pm **Posts:** 262

This reminds me of a cartoon I once saw:

Person 1: "Where's my coat at?"
Person 2: "You shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition"
Person 1: "I'm sorry. Where's my coat at, asshole?"

teverett · **Posted:** Fri Apr 29, 2011 5:07 pm

Bonzo wrote:

This reminds me of a cartoon I once saw:

Person 1: "Where's my coat at?"
Person 2: "You shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition"
Person 1: "I'm sorry. Where's my coat at, asshole?"

Please - wait - nevermind...

spotes · **Joined:** Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:27 pm **Posts:** 1558

Akbar71 wrote:

And this is exactly the sort of stuff which those of us who care about English shouldn't have to put up with!

No, no, no.

If you're going to go all Churchill on some sucka, you've got to go all the way or not at all.
"That's the sort of nonsense up with which I shall not put."
Indubitably. :mrgreen:

Akbar71 · **Posted:** Fri Apr 29, 2011 10:36 pm

spotes wrote:

Akbar71 wrote:

And this is exactly the sort of stuff which those of us who care about English shouldn't have to put up with!

No, no, no.

If you're going to go all Churchill on some sucka, you've got to go all the way or not at all.
"That's the sort of nonsense up with which I shall not put."
Indubitably. :mrgreen:

See, that's the problem with Poe's Law. To smiley face or not to smiley face? Make the verb agree with the subject or not? I decided simply to go with the initial conjunction, the finial preposition and the questionable "which."

Although I do love that Churchill. Did you ever notice how you never see Winston Churchill and W.C. Fileds in the same place at the same time? And those initials! Coincidence?

Cloudy · **Joined:** Tue Jan 12, 2010 4:30 am **Posts:** 5277

You guys are going silly on me...

So, I will try to straighten you all out with an "English Language" trivia question.

Mary went to work for Frank as an assistant basketball coach. Frank told Mary that she would be paid $50.00 biweekly, and that she would get her pay check at the end of the month. When the month came to an end, Frank gave Mary a check for $100. Mary was upset, and told Frank that her check should have been for $400. Who is right...?

p.s. No, this isn't a question where the woman is always right, but she might be. :lol:

(Belated edit: Sorry guys, I goofed up. Mary actually said the check should have been for $400.) :oops:

pengwn · **Posted:** Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:40 am

Cloudy wrote:

You guys are going silly on me...

So, I will try to straighten you all out with an "English Language" trivia question.

Mary went to work for Frank as an assistant basketball coach. Frank told Mary that she would be paid $50.00 biweekly, and that she would get her pay check at the end of the month. When the month came to an end, Frank gave Mary a check for $100. Mary was upset, and told Frank that her check should have been for $200. Who is right...?

p.s. No, this isn't a question where the woman is always right, but she might be. :lol:

What's MaryC doing coaching basketball? :shock:

FrankC · **Posted:** Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:49 am

Cloudy wrote:

You guys are going silly on me...

So, I will try to straighten you all out with an "English Language" trivia question.

Mary went to work for Frank as an assistant basketball coach. Frank told Mary that she would be paid $50.00 biweekly, and that she would get her pay check at the end of the month. When the month came to an end, Frank gave Mary a check for $100. Mary was upset, and told Frank that her check should have been for $200. Who is right...?

p.s. No, this isn't a question where the woman is always right, but she might be. :lol:

I think Mary may have confused Bi with Semi. Mary was never hired by me.

Akbar71 · **Posted:** Sat Apr 30, 2011 1:30 am

FrankC wrote:

I think Mary may have confused Bi with Semi.

I knew a few girls who were semi-bi in college.

FrankC · **Posted:** Sat Apr 30, 2011 1:43 am

Akbar71 wrote:

FrankC wrote:

I think Mary may have confused Bi with Semi.

I knew a few girls who were semi-bi in college.

Oh God, I could tell you a story about that.

Cloudy · **Joined:** Tue Jan 12, 2010 4:30 am **Posts:** 5277

You guys are so far off topic, and so far from the correct answer. However, you are in luck tonight, I am too drunk, and too tired to explain the answer to you right now. I'm going to bed, and if I wake up alive sometime tomorrow, I will tell you the answer.

spotes · **Joined:** Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:27 pm **Posts:** 1558

Cloudy wrote:

You guys are so far off topic, and so far from the correct answer. However, you are in luck tonight, I am too drunk, and too tired to explain the answer to you right now. I'm going to bed, and if I wake up alive sometime tomorrow, I will tell you the answer.

Unless she started at the beginning of the month and that month happens to be a non-leap year February, technically, they're both wrong, regardless of semantics.

Cloudy · **Joined:** Tue Jan 12, 2010 4:30 am **Posts:** 5277

They are both right. "Biweekly" is defined as being either twice a week or every two weeks. When you enter into a contract, and the word "biweekly" is in it, be very careful. You run into the same problem with the word "bimonthly".

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/biweekly

bi·week·ly /baɪˈwikli/ Show Spelled
[bahy-week-lee] Show IPA
adjective, noun, plural -lies, adverb
–adjective
1. occurring every two weeks.
2. occurring twice a week; semiweekly.

Sorry guys, I probably screwed you up. Mary said her check should have been for $400. :oops:

Cloudy · **Joined:** Tue Jan 12, 2010 4:30 am **Posts:** 5277

The identical twins dilemma...

Tom and John were identical twins born minutes apart at Norton's Childrens' Hospital in Louisville, KY, in 1998. Why would it be improper to ask them on their 13th birthday, which one is the oldest...?

...... Tom .................... John

(Ain't they cute, but if you should see them now. Their body piercings and tattoos make one wonder...)

liljol · **Joined:** Sun Jan 10, 2010 8:41 pm **Posts:** 2497

Cloudy wrote:

The identical twins dilemma...

Tom and John were identical twins born minutes apart at Norton's Childrens' Hospital in Louisville, KY, in 1998. Why would it be improper to ask them on their 13th birthday, which one is the oldest...?

...... Tom .................... John

(Ain't they cute, but if you should see them now. Their body piercings and tattoos make one wonder...)

Hells bells. Since they're twins, they should be asked which one is older.

spotes · **Joined:** Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:27 pm **Posts:** 1558

Cloudy wrote:

They are both right. "Biweekly" is defined as being either twice a week or every two weeks. When you enter into a contract, and the word "biweekly" is in it, be very careful. You run into the same problem with the word "bimonthly".

Sorry guys, I probably screwed you up. Mary said her check should have been for $400. :oops:

Since he's the one writing the check, that means he's correct. :mrgreen:

That riddle has math issues related to whichever definition of "biweekly" one chooses to use relating to payment at the end of a given month.
Instead of "end of the month", you should use "four weeks later" going forward.
It keeps pedantics like me off your heels...

spotes · **Joined:** Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:27 pm **Posts:** 1558

liljol wrote:

Hells bells. Since they're twins, they should be asked which one is older.

Darn it, Jol, you early bird.
You beat me to it.
What are you doing up so early out there?
Shouldn't you be getting more rest at your age?

Hey Cloudy,
Look up a game called Mindtrap.
It's basically hundreds of logic problems with a scoring system.
I suspect it was designed by Nazi defectors for anal retentives such as myself.

liljol · **Joined:** Sun Jan 10, 2010 8:41 pm **Posts:** 2497

spotes wrote:

Darn it, Jol, you early bird.
You beat me to it.
What are you doing up so early out there?
Shouldn't you be getting more rest at your age?

Nuts, go back to sleep, your grumpy young bastard. :lol:

Cloudy · **Joined:** Tue Jan 12, 2010 4:30 am **Posts:** 5277

liljol wrote:

Hells bells. Since they're twins, they should be asked which one is older.

LilJol nails it...! You can't fool LilJol...! Way to go...!

I loaded the question with a ton of extraneous information, hoping to send people off in wrong directions. Yeah, you can't fool LilJol.

I've asked this question to a lot of smart people many times, and none of have them ever figured it out. However, seeing that this was in the English language thread, you might have had a slight advantage. :lol:

p.s. SPOTES also deserves credit. Sadly, he was just a tiny bit late, and LilJol beat him to it. :cry:

Cloudy · **Joined:** Tue Jan 12, 2010 4:30 am **Posts:** 5277

.........................

Here's a toughie language question that requires a lot of switching letters in words around.

The question is, how do you get an elephant into a Safeway grocery shopping bag?

This question is so hard that I feel compelled to just go ahead and tell you guys the answer now.

First of all, you're gonna need a pencil and paper to figure this one out. Once you're ready, spilt "Safeway" into two words, and print them on the paper as "S A F E" and "W A Y". When you've got that done, take the letters "S" and "E" out of the word "SAFE", and print them on the paper. You're almost finished. Last step, now simply take the letter "F" out of the word "WAY". and voila, you've got it...! :lol:

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