New Scaratings

What do you get when you kick a baby down the stairs?
An erection

_________________
A man must get a thing before he can forget it.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

I fear our mistakes far more than the strategy of our enemies.
-Thucydides (471-400 B.C.)

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?"
The horse does not say anything.
Horses don't talk.

_________________
A man must get a thing before he can forget it.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

I fear our mistakes far more than the strategy of our enemies.
-Thucydides (471-400 B.C.)

This is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time...

Next time you're on a plane do this
1) Remove laptop from its bag
2) Open Laptop slowly and carefully
3) Turn on
4) Ensure the passenger next to you is watching
5) Connect to the internet
6) Close your eyes for a brief moment, open them again, turn your gaze to the sky, as if in prayer
7) Take a deep breath and open this site: ...http://www.myit-media.de/the_end.html
8) Turn and observe the reaction of the other passenger.

Thank you Khaos for posting that.

_________________
A man must get a thing before he can forget it.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

I fear our mistakes far more than the strategy of our enemies.
-Thucydides (471-400 B.C.)

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich." The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA. Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary to "panda" and reads: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

_________________
A man must get a thing before he can forget it.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

I fear our mistakes far more than the strategy of our enemies.
-Thucydides (471-400 B.C.)

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?"
The horse says "I have cancer".

_________________
A man must get a thing before he can forget it.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

I fear our mistakes far more than the strategy of our enemies.
-Thucydides (471-400 B.C.)

A drunk walks out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop.
He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she falls to the ground, he screams, "You're not so tough now, are you, Batman?"

_________________
A man must get a thing before he can forget it.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

I fear our mistakes far more than the strategy of our enemies.
-Thucydides (471-400 B.C.)

A horse walks into a bar, across the room, up the back wall, across the ceiling, down the front wall and then up to the bar. The bartender gives the horse a beer, he drinks it and leaves. A guy sitting at the bar looks perplexed and asks the bartender "Hey, what's that all about?" The bartender replies, "Don't take it personally, he never says 'Hi' to anyone."

_________________
A man must get a thing before he can forget it.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

I fear our mistakes far more than the strategy of our enemies.
-Thucydides (471-400 B.C.)

_________________

/```\
(o\_!_/o)

A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew the correct sound.

"Who knows what sound a cow makes?" she asked. Cindy put her hand up and said "Moooo!"

"Very good" replied the teacher,"what sound do sheep make?" "Baaaa" answered Jimmy.

She continued this for a while. Then she asked, "What sound does a pig make?"

All the hands in the class went up. She was surprised at the response. She chose Little Johnny at the back of the class. He stood up, took a deep breath, and screamed,

"Up against the wall you son of a bitch!!"

_________________
A man must get a thing before he can forget it.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

I fear our mistakes far more than the strategy of our enemies.
-Thucydides (471-400 B.C.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP_0dDjoW_o

A horse walks into a bar, across the room, up the back wall, across the ceiling, down the front wall and then up to the bar. The bartender gives the horse a beer, he drinks it and leaves. A guy sitting at the bar looks perplexed and asks the bartender "Hey, what's that all about?" The bartender replies, "Don't take it personally, he never says 'Hi' to anyone."

_________________
A man must get a thing before he can forget it.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

I fear our mistakes far more than the strategy of our enemies.
-Thucydides (471-400 B.C.)