New Scaratings

I walked into B-52 on Friday afternoon (2/17/17) to find some outriders of the Golden Horde occupying the short rail: OGEDEI, WANYE, and Madame WU. So we played a friendly game.

To one or another question, the answer was SEVASTOPOL. I wasn't paying much attention, but WANYE suggested a song title: Crimean River. Did he crib this from the third clue? WANYE is a retired pop musician, who believes that any music which didn't make the Top 40 somehow failed the test of critical review.

But when he said, "Crimean River," I was enchanted, and immediately expressed my faith-based opinion that there should be such a song, and that it should be sung loudly, frequently, and out of tune. The song itself shall be forever owned by Hillary. How she failed to obtain a Grammy nomination reminds us that the lying, deceitful press found other female sirens, perhaps with deeper resumes. Check your Twitter.


Crimean River

Now you say you're lonely
You crime the whole night through
Well you can Crimean River, Crimean River,
I gnaw my liver over you.

Now you say you're sorry
For being so damn Vlad
Well you can Crimean River, Crimean River
You've conquered Yalta, it's been had.

You drove me, clearly drove me out of my job
While you never shed a tear.
Remember, I remember all that you said
Told me love was proletarian
I was only parliamentarian -

Now you've got your hands full,
And just to prove you do,
Come on and Crimean River, Crimean River,
I gnaw my liver over you.


SCAR should pull the plug on my account.